The Dice Are Cast

After 6 years 8 months and 1 day of toiling at Ye Olde Textbooke Factorie, I finally found the strength and courage to tender my resignation on Wednesday. It was a bit of a surreal experience that left me dazed and emotionally drained. For much of Tuesday, I walked around with a leaden feeling in my chest and butterflies in my stomach. Communicating this decision to my boss, Madame Googly Eyes (name courtesy of Arby), was not going to be pleasant. She is not known to be a rational individual and has had a history of unleashing a rather nasty vindictive streak. However, I'd reached a point of no return. 2007, a year of indignities at the Factorie, made me realize that I could no longer tolerate the pervasive poor management, inequities, prejudice, mistreatment, and unhealthy corporate culture. My career had become stagnant, and it was time to make a change. So, after a sleepless night, I went into the office early and gave notice. It was probably the googliest I'd ever seen Madame, but I survived. The conversation, though not the most comfortable, was actually not as bad as I thought.

After my resignation was finally accepted, I proceeded to tell my teammates and friends. This was both easier and more difficult. I genuinely regret leaving my team in a lurch, and it saddens me that I'll no longer share in the daily jokes, conversations, and camaraderie that have brightened many a difficult day. I am profoundly grateful for the friendships that I've found at the Factorie; these are friendships that I know will continue outside of work, but I shall sorely miss having an office family.

Perhaps it is unwise to leave a secure albeit unsatisfactory job in these times of economic uncertainty. However, it is a gamble I'm willing to make. To quote a lovely Sondheim lyric that Rockhopper recently shared with me: "The choice may be mistaken/ The choosing was not." And so I take this leap, with a heart full of optimism, excitement, trepidation, and most of all hope.