Llama Count

Okay, this is getting slightly ridiculous, and I'm sure people are starting to think that I have a camelid obsession. After all, since this blog's inception, there have been (counting this entry) four posts featuring llamas. That means llamas have appeared in nearly 24% of my posts thus far. It is, admittedly, rather absurd. But really, I think the llamas are hounding me, not the other way around! Cases in point:

1. Last night, I was watching the Laker game on TV with my parents. Now, my parents are avid NBA fans, and they naturally have nicknames for some of the players. These, however, are not your average sports nicknames like T-Mac, KG, or AI. These nicknames are phonetically inspired, and they may be English or Taiwanese in nature. For example, Vlade Divac's last name sounds fairly similar to the Taiwanese phrase for pork meat, so that's what we used to call him. And Gary Payton's last name resembles the Taiwanese phrase for mailbox (not the private kind like the ones in front of homes, but the big public kind outside of post offices and on busy streets). It was, then, a humorous and fortuitous "convergence of events" when both Payton and Karl Malone were signed by the Lakers for the 2003-2004 season. (For non-NBA fans, Malone's actual nickname was "the Mailman." Mailman delivers to the Mailbox, get it? It's funnier in Taiwanese.) Anyway, my dad's nickname for Lamar Odom is much simpler and more obvious: llama (of course). So, we're watching the game and cheering on Odom with calls of "llama!" when Dad segues to a discussion of real llamas, those of the animal variety. He starts telling me how he began liking llamas after seeing a llama show on TV. No, not an Animal Planet or National Geographic or PBS special about llamas. I'm talking about a llama version of the Westminster Kennel Club dog show. Dad goes on to describe how beautifully groomed the llamas were, having no idea just how prominently llamas have figured in my peer conversations (and in my blog) in recent weeks. Today, I googled "llama show," and sure enough, the first hit was for the ALSA: the Alpaca Llama Show Association. Not only do people raise llamas and alpacas for their fibers, they apparently compete with them in the animal equivalent of beauty pageants. Who knew?
   
2. Today, KPGirl sent me a link to a book cover she saw over the weekend. It is just too crazy for words, so I'll let the images speak for themselves. (In case your eyes are drawn to the other amazing gadgets, I included another picture in which the llamacycle takes center stage.)
   

As fun and surreal as all the llama sightings have been, I rather hope this is the last we'll see of these camelids for a while. When I began this blog, I had no idea it would go down this road!

Long Live Goat-Sucking Vampires!

Opening: Sometimes, I can't help but marvel at and be amused by the string of coincidences life throws our way. As an educated and (I like to think) fairly logical person, I know that coincidences are just random convergences of events. However, when they involve rather odd things, well, it does give one pause.

Exhibit A: Some weeks ago, a friend at work mentioned during lunch that her brother got married at a llama farm in Ohio. Since the bride's family also owned a llama farm, my friend chanced to visit two llama farms in one day. Most of us at the table hadn't even known there were llama farms in the US, so this information struck us as unusual and entertaining. In fact, it spurred a laugh-inducing conversation about llamas, alpacas, and the Amish. (Don't see the connection? Well, llamas and alpacas are both camelids, and llama farms and Amish communities apparently both exist in Ohio.)

"But the Amish can't use the llamas."
"Why not? They're not electric."

People who overheard our conversation probably thought we were crazy, but we enjoyed laughing ourselves silly. The merriment served as much-needed stress relief. Lunchtime and the bizarre conversation over, we returned to our respective desks. But, suddenly, llamas and alpacas seemed to pop up everywhere. We found out that another friend, who just moved to California this year, got married at the same llama farm in Ohio. (It is apparently a popular wedding location due to its picturesque setting.) A llama appeared in a cartoon video that yet another friend was watching at her cubicle (probably at the very same moment that we were having our llama-themed conversation). A few days later, at a girls-night-out dinner, a third friend insisted she had seen some "I love alpacas" commercials on TV. Before she sent us the link to prove she wasn't joking, I did some online searching of my own and came across I [heart] llamas buttons, T-shirts, and other paraphernalia. I had no idea camelids were so fashionable.

Exhibit B: I listen to NPR on my short commute to and from work. I tend to eschew TV news, I don't subscribe to any papers, and I don't actively visit news websites, so my weekday news diet pretty much consists of whatever I hear while I'm in the car. One night, while driving home, I heard a sound bite from Bush's visit to Cuba. He concluded his speech with "Viva Cuba libre!" Given his history of malapropisms, my immediate thought was, it would've been really funny if he had said, "Viva Chupacabra!" Now, I'd never even heard of a chupacabra until a couple of years ago, when a coworker wrote something about it as a joke on the lunchroom bulletin board. Why that thought popped into my head was a mystery, but I had a good internal chuckle over it. (For those of you unfamiliar with the chupacabra, it is a mythical creature known for drinking the blood of livestock, vampire style. Its name literally means "goat sucker.") Well, guess what came up as a lunchtime conversation topic on Friday? Chupacabras! A friend relayed the news about a Texas woman who claimed she captured the beast (or at least its corpse). Skeptics say it's some kind of fox, wolf, or dog, and samples from the creature were sent out for DNA testing.

Closing: As coincidences go, I realize that these are not the most eerie or outrageous. Still, llamas and chupacabras are not your everyday conversation topics, so I found their recurrences uncanny and amusing. Maybe next week, I'll hear that alleged chupacabras have turned their bloodthirsty attention to llamas in Ohio.

The Most Important Gift Catalog in the World!

Yesterday, my friend KPGirl (she of the alpaca finger puppet) told me that she was looking through her Sunday paper when (surprise!) she came across the following advertisement:
Given all the recent animal-inspired conversations, we both took one look at this cover and burst into laughter. Opening the leaflet, we found a veritable zoo of animals being offered for purchase, including (drum roll please) llamas! Upon closer inspection, we learned that Heifer International is a non-profit organization dedicated to fighting poverty and hunger. The catalog lists opportunities to purchase animals, plants, and insects that can help support or feed families in need throughout the world. $20 can buy a flock of geese in China, a trio of ducks in Ghana, or a starter flock of chicks from Cameroon to the Caribbean. A llama in Bolivia will cost you $150:
Oh yes, and you can buy shares of animals, too. We are pondering if we can round up enough people from work to jointly purchase a llama. For those whose pockets are plumper, you can purchase a heifer for $500, a milk menagerie (heifer, 2 goats, water buffalo) for $1000, or a Gift Ark (breeding pairs of selected animals) for $5000. The Heifer Ark actually travels around the world, continuing the organization's humanitarian efforts. Pretty cool.

So, what started out as something funny to laugh about ended up having an important message, particularly on this holiday. Though not everyone may wish or be able to purchase farm animals to help others, we can still take some time to help fight hunger with a few mouse clicks. In that spirit, I am including the same link that my friend Trivia Duchess posted on her blog:
By playing this vocabulary game, you can donate rice to help feed the hungry. Each word you correctly match with its synonym results in a donation of 10 grains of rice. Most of the words are fairly difficult, but it is still fun to try. Besides, it's for a good cause. So far, in three separate games, I have been able to donate 8 bowls of rice (or 800 grains). All my wordsmith friends out there, please give it a go!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! :)

Lessons in Animal Husbandry (and Other Random Things I've Recently Learned)

1. llama (m.) + alpaca (f.) = huarizo
2. llama (f.) + alpaca (m.) = misti
3. horse (m.) + donkey (f.) = hinny
4. horse (f.) + donkey (m.) = mule
5. A male donkey is called a jack.
6. A female donkey is called a jenny.
   
7. Though ass is often used as a synonym for donkey, it technically refers to "any of several hardy gregarious African or Asian perissodactyl mammals (genus Equus) smaller than the horse and having long ears; especially : an African mammal (East asinus) that is the ancestor of the donkey" (per Merriam-Webster).
8. The ass is an endangered species. In fact, the African wild ass is listed as "Critically Endangered" by the World Conservation Union. According to a 2003 "ass headcount," there are apparently no asses in the United States. (I'm sure many would dispute this statement.)
9. Peppermint Patty's real name is Patricia Reichardt. I have no idea why Marcie called her "Priscilla" in A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.
   

Lunchtime conversations at work and the ensuing research they inspire certainly yield fascinating results.