When An Old English Epic Goes Hollywood

At first glance, Robert Zemeckis's Beowulf does not seem like my kind of film. At second glance, well, it's still not my kind of film, but there are definitely elements that both intrigue and appall me. The "performance capture" technology and the look of the film appeal to me on an aesthetic level. And, since I am not always a purist when it comes to the literary canon, it does interest me to see modern interpretations of the classics. When done well, it can be intellectually and emotionally stimulating. Now, I must say that I remember very little of Beowulf from my college reading: hero kills monster Grendel, saves kingdom, fights dragon, receives mortal wound, dies. Since it made so little impression on me, I am not one of those people who can exclaim with righteous indignation, "What have you done to England's national epic?!" Nevertheless, just from seeing the commercials, visiting the website, and doing some surfing, I found several things troubling about this film.

I realize that when one watches a film, there is a silent compact to suspend disbelief. Given that this is a fantasy epic, that would go double. I also realize that the majority of Hollywood films must meet a required dosage of violence and sex. But, really, stiletto heels on Grendel's mom?
Played by Angelina Jolie, Ma Grendel is re-imagined as a beautiful siren appareled in liquid gold. I guess she needed to top Beowulf's leather loincloth. I also cannot get past that we are supposed to easily accept the sultry seductress as the mother of the deformed lump of flesh that is Grendel. It seems a bit ridiculous.




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The funniest article I came across about Hollywood's latest plastic (make that CGI) surgery on a literary classic was titled "Angelina Jolie, Boobs, Star in Beowulf." It actually made me think of the medicine woman from The Simpsons Movie.
In the immortal words of Homer Simpson, "Thank you Boob Lady" for providing fodder for my blog.